Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
