somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
well most of my day revolves around power hour
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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