i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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