btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
