Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
