My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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