we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize