i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
