Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Randomize
