I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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