my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
