Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
