I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize