Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize