we're blogging at a bar
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
