dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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