Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
