How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
