I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize