I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
