Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
