apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
