I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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