Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the day after is always just damage control
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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