i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
