i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
