I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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