i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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