Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
