I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
