so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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