I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
