would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
