Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
