Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize