I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
