I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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