I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
