i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
