Don't you send me to vm
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
