I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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