oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
whose parrot is this?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
