I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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