Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
