Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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