my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I will be naked everywhere
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
