i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
