I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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