eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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