god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
