You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
