Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
