Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
