eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do vagina's smell?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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