i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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